Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy 2011 Fellow Cake Enthusiasts!

Another year has come and gone.  For the impressionable, I will not negate that I was able to commit to some of 2010’s resolutions...really.  While I didn’t make a dent in the rosin, my poor violin is still shamelessly sitting in a dark corner but on the other hand, I did manage to read some classic novels and some juicy trilogies this year while I let those fab gawd-awful trashy mags collect dust and water rings throughout.  While my self-indulgent Wednesdays have become obselete, I did manage to have a quarter-life crisis while seeping out tantrums galore.  But this is a new year and in the name of social and economic prosperity and for the safety of mankind, here are my intentions for 2011, well kinda:

  1. Dulcify my life…a hard lesson has taught me that only I can make myself happy
  2. Continue to throw tantrums when I see fit but realize that sometimes pouting, stomping and saying four letter words doesn't work with everyone…will have to get more creative this year!
  3. Letting go of my feelings of guilt; this will put me in touch with my sociopath
  4. Get lost less...thanks to Tom Tom.
  5. Continue to disarm myself with that gym membership…walking and running is cheaper
  6. While amidst being at war with my vices, accept that I can’t change who I am and be content with my dual personality...especially when an alibi is needed. (Grin, sigh... explosive grin).
  7. Try to not wear so many "stretchy pants" out in public along with those eye soring Crocs…in socks.  If I do get caught in this faux fashion disgrace, accept the fact I may be nominated for the next contender on “What not to Wear”.  Hey, who wouldn’t want to shop in NY? Fancy Smanchy stretchy pants.
  8. Continue to hoard my cake guiltlessly
  9. Reinstate at least one reckless day as if I were celebrating my 50th birthday
  10. Nothing comes amiss, so I will stop trying to take leaps and bounds and instill baby steps instead.
So kids...enjoy your binge diets, your stiffening will to quit bad habits and your new, shiny gym memberships.  I will be fine in 2011...as long as I am not in prison.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Disparity: "I'm A Gettin' Chocolate Wasted!"


Despite the fact that on this day, I had been feeling somewhat discouraged in both my personal and work life, I made the decision to venture out for cake as a wholly reprieve to yank me from that "oh woe is me" mood. "Get over it Laura! So, things don't always go your way, and here's a bigger shock...no matter how much you stomp and pout and argue with the facts of life, no matter how strong the abyss of disenchantments are, things will still not go your way."  It's a proven fact and it's harsh to come to the realization of it all.  But Ha! what a misconception to my know- it- all and definitely more rational alter ego...things always go my way at McKinley's bakery! You see, when it comes to cake, I can have it all and there is no negative conjunctions of ands or buts in this scenario. I am going to eat the biggest slice of butter cream chocolate cake AND enjoy the best prelude of what it will do for me BUT the after effect of getting chocolate wasted will only invoke the servitude of my renowned love for life again! The rich butter cream chocolate icing blanketing the moist chocolate cake can serve to hide the disorder of our nature....sometimes, um...well today anyway!  To thine own self be true my fellow cake enthusiasts; console your craving and keep enjoying the sweet splendor things in life. Since you can't eat hope, try cake... it will always sustain you !

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Havoc? Not for this girl!

As I post this, I am comfortably lounging in what I refer to as my stretchy pants (um, yep so comfortable that they require placement in italic form).  I woke up this morning feeling rather carefree.  You see, because of some current altering events in my personal life, I was able to make the choice to make this Thanksgiving stress free.  I ordered the turkey dinner with all the trimmings this year.  I apologize for the fact that I used everything that is disposable for the sake of an entire tree forest. But nonetheless, I am today grinning from ear to ear as I reminisce on the fact that last year this time, I was secretly obsessing over wanting to be Martha Stewart's apprentice. I didn't get that expensive turkey baster or  even a shoddy one for that matter.  What to do with the cranberry sauce?  Who cares!  I have failed spectacularly in my domestic capacities and it feels exceptionally wonderful!  On the other hand, however, I did take the time to pay tribute to the blessings in my life. I am completely smittened when I think about it.  And on an oddly ravishing note, I must also thankfully behold the quirky benedictions that make me who I am.  I still don't feel insecure about the compulsory arguments I feel I need to have with myself.  I still feel that the fact that my insanely clumsiness has not failed me to come to a complete fall as of this date but that fact that I secretly rehearse that tragic recovery keeps my persona open to not being afraid of falling.  I keep saying I won't wear those shoes again; call me insatiably stubborn! I am continually banking on the fact that my OCD has successfully paroled into something productive and the fact that once again this year, my being has not yet morphed into a sugar comatose.  For today I have taken that premature obituary and have shredded it into itsy bitsy pieces!  I fit right into this whimsical and fun life no matter what it places before me. So, now that my stretchy pants have conformed to me, I think room has been made for a warm piece of Apple pie.  A Happy Happy Thanksgiving to you all my fellow Cake Enthusiasts!  And remember....when life hands you lemons, make lemon pie!  

You Darn Right...I like cake!

I like cake, no mistake, but baby if you insist, I'll cut out the cake, just for your sake!  Ummm...I think not! Baby, C'mon and knock me a kiss.  I like pie, I hope to die, just get a load of this when you get high, doggone the pie! No matter what life hands you, sometimes things get better when you take the time to indulge in the sweet things it has to offer...and YES, I am totally referring to cake.  I know it's been far too long that I have posted anything.  By all means, please discard any sneers. But you see, I have been put through some painstaking tribulations that have exploded rapidly out of control and with that control harbored my love for cake venturing.  I think I'm making some progress and am ready to get back into the wonderful and exciting world of cake again.  I made the mistake of letting life's mishaps get in the way of indulging in my daily sinful intakes.  Who does that?  Don't let anything ever take you away from what you love.  After all, cake, pie, chocolate and those darn intoxicating white powdered donuts were created on the eighth day to make life sweeter.  I want cake and I want it all...who's with me?  

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Despicable Me!


It's been a while I know but you see, I have a confession to make...I haven't ventured out for anything enticing worth blogging about.  Lately, the defeat of life's daunting activities itself have kept me from enjoying the things I look forward to doing, i.e...cake hunting! At times, I've gone through my day, whether it’s at work or at home and I vicariosly convince myself that today will be the day I venture out. With my list in hand of places to visit, despicably so, I'm suddenly dragging my senses to the cafeteria.  Now mind you, I must also confess in an odd and very pertubed sort of way, that I find myself excitedly making a push to the desserts dome. And so undescribably, I take only moments to decide which cake to get.  So who cares if I pick Tuesday's cake and today is Thursday! So who cares if the cake is dry, who cares if it has raisins, who cares if it's so tasteless that I eat only the icing, and who cares if it's pre-packaged and delivered by some third party vendor! Obviously, in my out-of-mind rut...I don't! I have succumbed to just that!  I need to get out of this schtick.

So just as I stooped to the lowest level...day old carrot cake, yep, from the cafeteria again, my mood had been suddenly lifted. A rich and succulent chocolate brownie cupcake from Central Market made its way to me by way of a wonderful friend.  The picture alone describes the thousand delicious words I would normally get carried away with. One bite and I felt like I was rehabilitated. This is possibly just the diversion I needed. It allows for the possibility that I might just be that girl again. I don’t know, on some Tuesday in August at some unspecified point in the history of the world, I will be heading out again, crossing off my list of tasty venues. I want to get back on track and eat REAL cake. Enough of the sadly staged sattire, forget desperate times calling for desperate measures...forget cafeteria cake! In lieu of the real thing, I'll opt for the packaged white-powdered donuts from the gift shop as a plan for my grand scheme instead!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sweet Vacation

On Florida’s north panhandle, or better known as the “forgotten coast", exists a quaint dining café known as That Place Off 98 located in historic Apalachicola…dare you say that three times without snickering about the fact you might have said something else. Besides the fun-to-say name, this place serves up the best Key Lime Pie that side of the Gulf coast.  Naturally, it tastes like they used fresh key limes. I would expect nothing less in the Sunshine state. Beautifully embodied into the sweet and grainy graham cracker crust, was all the goodness of the perfect combination of tart and sweet custard where itzy bitzy flecks of small green zest might be detected here and there if you had microscopic vision. This treat made the fervent, scorching heat dissipate for some moments at a time. After lunch, we strolled down to Apalachicola Chocolate Company, where beautifully adorned truffles laid in all its glory behind some old glassed domes. On one end of this new found heaven, was the Italian gelato. After sampling the lemon flavor, I opted for a full size. The owner left to get more cups down the street. He’d only been perfecting his homemade gelato for the past three years and on this day, obviously the perfection ceased: He ran out of cups! Owner and chocolate master maker, George Stritikus, both charming and an avid story teller, proceeded to tell me about the commencement of this wonderful journey. I listened in awe as I’d take a bite of my lemon gelato and in between sample a few truffles as he insisted and had to prove he uses only fine chocolate. And undeniably so, I agreed…no catch-penny chocolate here! The Hazelnut Aporn and the Grand Mariner truffles were nothing less than high class. My peripheral vision caught sight of the Pecan Bourban and the Kahlua Cacao but my thirsty palate yearned for another bite of the refreshing gelato. He continued his story about hiring a group of samplers in an effort to perfect his chocolate recipes. Should they mention the chocolate was perfect, he'd seek out new samplers!  Where was I ten years ago? I'd of made the perfect sampler, "Eewww, George, this is awful, please start all over and bring me another!" George was a kind man, not only because he allowed me to have my fill of samples but because his love for chocolate reflected everything he put into his recipes. He gave me his recipe for gelato: water, milk, and fresh fruit. Seemed much too simple to believe, even for me. There are a few missing ingredients that cannot be imitated nor duplicated. I insist he makes it with a lot of passion and a pinch of love.  Even in the "forgotten coast", there are a splendid number of things that will always be remembered! 

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Senseless Sensation


Lately, gluttony and lack of self control seem to compromise my usual good sense as evidenced of course by my recent incidental golf cart fiasco. The result of some futile greens terrain ride…a torn ligament to the groin, beautiful hues of purple and brown bruises, the unbearable use of those gawd awful crutches, the halt of bearing cute summer heels and then that slightly awkward limp followed thereafter. Minus the pain, the lack of supermom duties, the act of kindness imposed by strangers, the ‘free cookies for your booboo’ at a restaurant, the unwarranted offers to clean your house, the unsolicited frowns by strangers as they wonder what happened, and the best part…the guilt that indulges one so much that he feels the need to feed me a strawberry shortcake sundae every other night, well, isn’t so bad after all! In due time, everything heals. Until then, I decided to take the pity in strife and why not act upon another senseless act. A temporary clogged artery? Indulge in something deep fried? Eh, what did I have to lose?

So, the latest episode of senseless decisions occurred when I made my weekly venture to Yucatan Taco Stand. Having made it through nearly their whole dessert menu, the only thing left to try was the Deep Fried Cheesecake.

This fabulous gastrointestinal atrocity was served warm, the mushy cheesecake filling wrapped inside a flaky crust generously immersed in cinnamon sugar was just what I needed to make me feel better. Served upright side to side and adorned with a flowered mound of whipped topping then drizzled with alternating chocolate syrup in lattice form, made for a very delightful presentation.

I’ve heard deep fry batter clogs the memory; must be some merit to that…it was so good and enthralling that I had almost forgotten to swallow! So, go ahead and get lost in some crassly act every now and then; it can be a really good thing! 





Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rhapsody on Fire


Creme Brulee has always been a dessert that I swoon over but the savoire faire of indulging in White Chocolate Creme Brulee makes me swoon beyond belief.  Perhaps it's the anticipation of cracking through the sugar-glazed crust or perhaps it's the bundle of alluring richness that seems to coexist so perfectly with the creamy, smooth custard engaged with white chocolate just beneath. Exasperatingly so, could it be the variety of berries that embodied this perfect and well behaved dessert?  Eating Creme Brulee is so seductively enchanting; there is nothing more simplistic that can tantalize your senses and taste buds.  The French call it burnt creme, I call it rhapsody on fire! Now, I don't want to fall into the black hole of romanticizing food but I must...where I would ramble on and on about how this delightful dessert makes me daydream about being a Parisian woman, sitting outside of a cozy bistro, discussing the perfect pairing of food and fine wine while my perfectly silk scarf tangles into my perfectly fitted suit as my perfectly manicured hands unravel it just so and in the midst of this, I suddenly get the urge for a perfectly slim cigarette as I inhale and release a perfectly lined puff...aagh...cough, cough!  Ok, let's strike the cigarette scene.  So, nonetheless, I got a bit carried away but this fancy treat is the superiority of all custards; it's svelte and chic! Now back to reality.. Excusez-moi as I repose my messy hair that, if I were French, would be the next sought after do. As much as I like to make believe I'm a ravishing french woman, it's nice to know that I can get carried and swooned away just miles away at Yucatan Taco Stand. Au revoir cake enthusiasts, until we meet again.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Pucker Up Baby!


When I think of lemons, oodles of things come to mind…a taste of Summer, freshly-squeezed lemonade immersed in reams of pulp, lemon pound cake, a homemade lemon spritz to rejuvenate those dithery winter hair strands, a bag of lemon drops you can savor on for hours and then of course, those irresistibly zesty lemon bars! I had been craving them for weeks and finally found some reputable ones at Carshon’s Deli. As I’m about to describe them, the thought alone makes my mouth water, my eyes bulge and my lips pucker…simultaneously and kinda, sorta like in kissey face stance…um okay, well, not really! Aside from the animated facial expressions they provoke, the appeal of lemon bars is easy to understand… really. When well made, the buttery, crisp yet crumbly shortbread crust and the intensely tart lemon-curd filling are everything beyond enchanting. Enamored and coated with snowy white powdered sugar perfectly adds to the pleasant combination of tart, sweet and tangy; my mouth was happy and my tongue…delirious! So addictive are these citrusy cuties that I indulged in several at one time. When life hands you lemons, ummmm, well, let someone else make lemon bars and sit back and enjoy what is tart and swanky. So, pucker up baby…LIFE is zestfully delicious!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Oh, That Warm and Fuzzy Feelin'

You don't have to wait for those beautiful earthy colors to seap through to make you believe you're in Autumn bliss once you've had Pecan Pie cake from Chadra Mezza Grill.  The layers of vanilla, brown sugar and everything that mimics pecan pie brought a warm yet chilled delight to my every being.  Surprisingly though, this audicious dessert was infused with something carousing, something with a bit of hoopla and giddiness...something along the line of RUM!  Now, by any means do I consider myself a 'light-weight' if you will, but after several invigorating bites, I was feeling kinda fuddled, a bit boozy, maybe a wee pie-eyed, pixilated and overall, just feelin' kinda Scottish.  Had I eaten the entire slice, I'd have transpired into a half-seas-over sailor! The wince of liquor permeated into the filling and the butter-scotch tasting topping transpired my dipso senses.  But really, come to think of it, this cake will not give you an instant admission to an AA meeting; my mellow-after-state could be partially blamed for the couple of Kahlua cupcakes enjoyed only hours prior.  Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink slice!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Old Fashionedly Sweet


I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind. Not sophisticated; I'm the sweet and simple kind just like old-fashioned Banana pudding should be! City Pig BBQ in Fort Worth, Texas guarantees their pudding to taste just like momma's!  Well, ladies and gents, let me say...momma would be proud!  The sanctity here is that it is old-fashioned at its best.  Forget the hoity toity type custard that uses those fancy Lady Finger biscuits in place of wafers; why, frankly that's gawd-awfully appalling and just plain rubbish! Ah...and please dissect the ones made out of that instant pudding box...ugh! This banana pudding was the real deal with a dollop of southern charm.  The luscious custard mingling with banana slices infused with vanilla, sweet milk and mushy wafers underneath a crown of fluffy-browned meringue took me back to visions of a Southern belle sitting beneath a fragrant Magnolia tree, fanning herself precociously pretending to faint ever so lightly until some gentleman aided in keeping her glucose level steady by offering her a sweet treat.  "Why  yessir", I would I mean, she would say.  "I do believe another helping of that pudding will suit me just fine."  The tease of a small serving left me yearning for a few more bites.  Lesson learned. I am reminded that next time I shall act helpless and confused when it's to my advantage; never let them know how clever and capable I really am...and then I shall get that good ole fashioned fix!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The ultimate countdown to Glory!

Day 1 It’s the official kick off to Lent and about the worst day ever for me! Temptation surrounds me.

Day 2 Relieved Day One has come and gone but in theory, slowly staring at my own demise.

Day 3 My glucose level is dropping and I’m feeling slightly faint.

Day 4 What’s a girl to do to get away from cake?

Day 5 Still alive and kicking with an ‘mmph’ of hostility

Day 6 It’s George Washington’s Birthday. If he was still alive, we’d be sharing cake right now. RIP Georgey.

Day 7 A full sacrificial week and I don’t feel any better. I’m really grumpy now.

Day 8 What in heaven’s name will I eat now to offset my glucose imbalance?

Day 9 Discovered I can eat Ice cream…lots of it!

Day 10 Had caramelized pecans as a distraction from the floury fusions…thank you friend.

Day 11 Embarked upon a birthday celebration surrounded by a giant cake and cute little cupcakes; accidently got icing on finger but restrained from licking it off with said tongue...ugh!

Day 12 Large tub of homemade sopapillas placed in front of me; resisted by eating an abundance of tamales instead.

Day 13 Monday blues…really could use a whole cake right about now; deterred from watching Cake Boss tonight!

Day 14 Finding myself more and more difficult to live with. Fighting my own internal war.

Day 15 Daydreaming of a German chocolate cake; looking forward to cake celebration...oh yeah!

Day 16 Really? Do those around me who never bake, want to start now…seriously? Yearning for that As Seen on TV Perfect Brownie cake pan.

Day 17 Pouted excessively for several minutes when kids asked for donuts!

Day 18 Stared in the mirror for a minute…my tummy appears more slimming.

Day 19 Stared in the mirror for two minutes …yesterday was a misconception…bulging belly still exists.

Day 20 Thinking of consuming one of those superficial energy drinks for a much-needed sugar rush.

Day 21 Aaggghhhh! About to lose my mind! Can anyone hear me?

Day 22 Please accept my apologies for yesterday’s outburst. I’m better today.

Day 23 What has this world come to? Please stop sending me virtual cakes! Really annoyed by others’ joy of cake eating.

Day 24 Sporting my new patent leather shoes….cake? What’s that?

Day 25 Short-lived distraction…love my shoes but love cake even more!

Day 26 My skin is blotchy…need the sugar-infused ingredients to help rejuvenate the glow.

Day 27 Live and learn…will convert to a Baptist next year. Just kidding Mom :)

Day 28 Too much ice cream has revealed possible lactose intolerance.

Day 29 It’s St. Patty’s Day…almost stole a green cupcake to save for later! Someone pinch me.

Day 30 Anonymous blog reader posted nasty comment. Do they really think I’m whiney? Delete, delete, delete! Take that! If you don’t like cake, get off my site.

Day 31 Anonymous blog reader commented back with apology…will consider slice of cake as peace-offering.

Day 32 Decided to filter comments that do not contain the word “love”.

Day 33 Imagined myself baking all day Easter…I’m really delirious now.

Day 34 Why oh why must I feel this way?

Day 35 Thinking about cabana boys to occupy my mind

Day 36 Realized cabana boys are non-existent in my neck of the woods.

Day 37 Contemplating starting own Yada Yada Cake Abstinence group…eh!

Day 38 Patience is the greatest virtue but I can’t wait!

Day 39 Upset Ricky Martin proclaimed homosexuality. I really need cake now!

Day 40 Inhaled an entire bag of Jet-Puffed marshmallows…what a sick-o, psycho…same thing!

Day 41 Forty days have passed but newer Catholicism beliefs give way to an extra seven days…ugh!

Day 42 Let the countdown begin!

Day 43 My salivary glands are in full mode now

Day 44 Commencement of Operation ‘It’s all About Me”

Day 45 Oh yeah…heading toward divine intervention!

Day 46 Excitement overload. One-too-many glasses of Chardonnay made the night go by really fast!

Day 47 Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halleluuuuuuuuuujah! A cake enthusiast’s lottery to be had! I’m jubilantly grinning from ear to ear. Pineapple Upside Down gorged with a sip of coffee set the day for the upcoming cake ventures!

What an experience this has been! To live without eating cake and anything floury, buttery and utterly sweet for forty-seven long days and even longer nights was extreme for a cake enthusiast as myself. My terrible mood swings evidenced that one cannot live on love alone and certainly should never , ever attempt to do so again! Do not deny yourself the sweeter things in life. It's great to be zealous over cake again. Never again will I abandon you my fellow cake enthusiasts! I'm baaaaack!

Gone Bananas!


I find myself growing more progressively hysterical than ever thanks to the Banana Upside Down cake I sampled at Lili's Bistro in Fort Worth, Texas. My expression made no attempt to disguise the inevitable. It was a many-splendored thing...a congregation of baked banana slices coupled with pieces of shredding banana "mush" and a mixture of rich caramel and deep brown sugar with itty bitty pieces of walnuts. This densely moist cake was served warm with a heaping side of whipped cream and topped off with a beautiful fuchsia-colored orchid. It was definitely palate pleasing but a bit pricey, perhaps it was the ornate flower. Licking the stems and outer edge of the petals, I took the delicate flower, placed it just so behind my ear and enjoyed my cake! Every bite added a daylong supply of contentment. A supply that I will soon be needing on reserve for this is pre-Lent day and soon cake will be non-existent. What? I know. I've literally gone bananas!

Cha Ching Baby!


If wealth was measured in terms of cake consumption, I'd be an instant billionaire! But given the fact that my economic status falls a tad bit short of making that folly Forbe's list, I will settle for admiring the riches that can only be consumed. Although this pretentious dessert looks like a billion bucks, it won't break the bank nor will you feel obliged to keep up with the Joneses. All you need is a little dough (punt purposely intended). This upscale charm was infused with happiness, a dash of giddiness and embossed in a deeply rich chocolate ganache with endless filling of mascarpone cheese within each layer and finally chocolate dotted and dusted with edible gold. Devastatingly delicious, each rich bite full bankrupted every last ounce of dignity I had. Wappa, Wappa, Woo! Oh yeah...Cha Ching baby! Central Market in Fort Worth, Texas has once again hit the jackpot with their signature Opera cake. So, join me my fellow cake enthusiasts in stimulating the economy...one bite at a time!

Beautiful Disaster

Have you made the gadabout journey to Central Market's bakery in Fort Worth, Texas? I fear I will undoubtedly go into a deep sugar comatose should I dare to do so. Fortunately, every now and then, sweet gestures such as this will be delivered to me as in the case of this too-cute-to-eat slice of heaven or as the bakers there dubbed as "Three Sisters". This treat manifested itself in resemblence to a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich. Inhale, Aaaaah....deep, deep sigh ,finally, after an exhaustive staring session. You see, this cake was too pretty to unravel but when the burden of such anguish met its demise, O what an exquisite relief to my yearning palate! The white cake was beautifully adorned with layers of Raspberry preserves, vanilla and chocolate creams sitting atop a Chambord-soaked dark chocolate cake and enrobed in a rich and succulent chocolate ganache. Are your eyes rolling in the back of your head yet? Perpetually both rich in texture and taste, a sugar hangover could reasonably be expected and after the last bite...completely achieved! Fear not the rapture of a pretty cake, my unsuspecting cake hoarders; go ahead... unravel its existence and enjoy the result of a beautiful disaster.

Seeing is Believing


Eating carrots may not give you seamless 20/20 vision but eating carrot cake, I daresay, will have you seeing many other things. Now, I have no medical doctrine but I do dibble dabble in the arts of pastry and that alone makes me an expert in advising that the benefits of eating carrot cake far outnumber the benefits of not doing so. As I mentioned before, I don't typically eat anything that's not beneficial to my health. Aside from the crucial nutrients of Vitamin A and rich beta carotene, this treat was just what the doctor ordered. In Waxahachie, Texas, exists a place, 1879 Chisholm Grill, where you too can find that benefiting ailment. Can you visualize with me my fellow cake gurus...a Caramel Carrot cake? Ah...pure insanity! I so concur! Don't strain. You don't have to see it to believe it because I'm gonna alleviate any preliminary angst you might be having right about now. So, visualize this...alternating layers of caramel and cream cheese icing with hints of brown sugar, cinnamon, cardamom, walnuts and those perfectly shredded carrot pieces, the texture dense yet moist with an extreme undefined yearning for another forkful. Can you taste it? I hope so but if you can't, newbie Cake Enthusiast out of hiding and avid blog follower, 'Gaudy lady', can too attest to the splendid chance encounter. Seeing is believing but tasting...clearly a more delightful disposition.

Everything is Bigger in Texas


Now and again it’s been expressed that it’s the little things in life that count. As much as I’d agree, occasionally though…bigger is better! Truth in point as in the case of the GIANT Sweet roll I found at Chaf In Restaurant, a nostalgic kind of old-timer’s diner, located just off the square in Cleburne, Texas. The injustice of this snapshot leaves little for the imagination. You see, the plate pictured here is actually a dinner platter, yessir, not some minuscule pastry plate. The motley of goodness consisted of baked doughy goodness doused in a butter cream icing infused with enlivening cinnamon. Jubilantly entwined swirls of gooeyness for that morning might have defeated my palate's proverbial gauntlet; Rise the sweet roll in all its glory! My cravings have been outflanked! Of course, as much as I wanted to devour the sugary monstrosity by myself, tis the season for giving, so I gave...a little… of the outside layers that is, to those who sat there alongside drooling in angst! Dithering through the outside layers, I finally got to the much anticipated center. The center contortion , moist and heavenly, was enough to send me into a lifetime of merriment jubilation. Couple this treat with black coffee and you'll be delighted just as much as I was. True to the age old adage...Everything is BIGGER and better in Texas y'all!


Sweet Ruthlessness!

Oh, the ruthless insanity of cake once again became evidently clear when I finally made the pilgrimage to the Blue Bonnet Bakery only to be schlepped by the never-ending, irrevocable temptation of something insatiably floury and sweet. There, shamelessly confined within the glass counter was the last piece of Italian Cream cake, romancing and summoning my senses. How could I possibly resist? Moreover, did I want to chance stirring up some sort of unacceptable scenario for the sake of oppressing my one true addiction to sugar? Nah...that would be so uncivilized and so not worth the energy! The prevailing and cloyingly sweet cream cheese frosting mixed in with pixels of chopped walnuts knocked me silly. The inside layers consisted of a hash of sweet coconut flakes and walnuts, giving it that excitably nubby texture. I was squealing, giddy and slap-happy with every bite. This over-the-top slice of sweetness will ransack your palate and dither your spirit. Barbaric! I know. Oh, oh, oh cake enthusiasts of the world, let's consider ourselves fortunate to have our hedonistic cravings satisfied by such an astonishing treat. What more can I say, the restitution of cake to the human spirit is profoundly ruthless! Ode to cake!


Raspberry Razzle Dazzle


McKinley's Bakery and Cafe's signature slice of White Chocolate Raspberry Ganache cake completely outwitted my senses today. The moist and excitably dense slice of manipulation was smothered by rich white chocolate ganache. The vanilla-caked layers were compressed with butter cream frosting and seedy raspberry preserves. Every razzle dazzle of a bite began stirring up the most intelligible musings usually captured with cake-eating. Amusingly, the first thing that came to mind was Prince's Raspberry Beret ballad and began humming over this harmonic piece of heaven. Hence, with my undoubtedly overtly, distasteful, engrossing obsessive behavior, and short of any vocal talent, I had utterly exhausted the chorus of the Eighty's popular ditty. My most sincere apologies to any Prince fans. But fear not, this aspiring treat does not withstand the typical 'song and dance' and is nothing short of making its own musical leitmotif. Just like Prince with his unpronounceable symbol, this rockin' cake has definitely earned its own trademark. Until my next venture, rock on fellow cake enthusiasts! YEAH!

Topsy-Turvy of a Treat


I was well beyond delighted the minute I walked into a charming venue called the Pie Place Café & Bakery in Burleson, Texas. Would one expect less than a beautiful showcase of desserts with a name like that? All hail, Delusion! Uh… negative…more like a bona fide manifestation; it was too surreal for just a sighing moment. Scanning the beautifully adorned pies, my eyes were drawn to the glass cake dome treasuring the Upside Down German Chocolate cake. This treat was typical of the nostalgic German chocolate cake, moist with all the abiding ingredients, the chocolate sweetness encompassed by pecan pieces and grated coconut. The tapestry swirl top of semi sweet chocolate and caramel set this fascinating dessert apart from the rest. It was swanky and stylish in its own existence and would put to shame any other pseudo cake daring enough to take the same cake runway. Whether you eat this cake upside down or right side up, it permeated every aspect of my topsy-turvy state of mind. And so until our next conviction, um, I mean convention, eat more cake, it wards off the H1N1 virus…well, not really but thinking it while eating cake might make it so!

Screaming for Ice Cream

I know my fellow sidekicks and cake enthusiasts what you must be thinking, “Isn’t this blog about cake?” Whoa and what about the enumeration of all the pie posts? Well, pies are implied, hence the subtitle of the blog and after all, they are the cousin of cake. But what about ice cream? I thought long and hard before I decided to post this. So here’s my intelligible premise: ice cream goes with cake, right? Well, and perpetually so, I promised my friend and restaurant owner, Nehme, I would stop by and try his homemade ice cream and if animated so, I would generate a post. So, there you go. My affectionately nicknamed friend, Cherry Pie, came along for the prop. Seeking antioxidant nourishment, she opted for the Pomegranate flavored ice cream, which she described as yummy and creamy. In lieu of the benefits of glowing skin, I took a liking to the Pumpkin Pecan flavored one. This bewildering single scoop of ice cream had me screaming, um no, it was more like caterwauling with happiness! I could hardly contain myself as I dipped into the toil of pecans, real pumpkin shavings, cinnamon and nutmeg. The texture was not creamy but had that Italian ice sort of scheme. If I closed my eyes, I could bamboozle myself into thinking I was indulging into a piece of pumpkin bread. This trendy nook also serves up flavors such as avocado honey, chocolate jalapeño and sweet corn with cinnamon, just to name a few. If you ever find yourself in the mood to wail out for some trendy ice cream, stop by Chadra Mezza Grill in Fort Worth, Texas and treat your palate to a cold and delightful thrill. After all, don’t we all scream for ice cream?


Ain’t No Fly in this Buttermilk Pie


I'm very excited to share with you today a little gem of a town I was able to venture to for a whole afternoon. As I walked the charming and whimsical square of Glen Rose, Texas, a chance encounter with a Buttermilk Pecan Pie served at Anderson’s Restaurant, eulogized the magnetism of what should be a care-free state of mind. At first, I dillydallied over the musing of such a pie. Buttermilk? Ugh! Seriously? I never had acquired the taste of buttermilk and the allegory of “flies in the buttermilk”, well, let’s just say, inhibited the snag even further. To my daunting dismay, however, the ingredients in this pie translated to something vibrant and viable. Oh joy, it was like eating a Pecan praline! The mesh of the cloying filling: buttermilk, vanilla, good seasoned pecans, coconut and white chocolate riveted within a crumble buttermilk topping, depleted any animosity I had towards buttermilk. The stigma of buttermilk is forever gone. Psst, come closer as I whisper…ain’t no fly in this Buttermilk Pecan Pie!

Drunken' Love


Pearl Street Station set bounds to a makeshift kind of happy hour when I got a taste of their reputable Bread Pudding with Jack Daniels whiskey sauce. The medley of a cluster of almonds, Mexican vanilla, cinnamon, sugar, nutmeg and the not so conspicuous, Jack Daniels whiskey sauce mixed in with evaporated milk, definitely enlivened the wet whistle. The bread’s end was finished with a mild crunchy texture that perfectly contrasted the softness of the pudding. This was a dynamite combo, and I can certainly understand why it’s a standard on the menu. Notable also, is the interesting tidbit that the whiskey sauce is not cooked in with the spirited fusion but rather poured in after, giving it that much more of an unyielding appeal. Served warm, every other slapdash of a bite not only gave me a crimson flush but also sent me into an 80 proof of absolute sedation. It was an intoxicating kind of drunken’ love! Cheers, my Bread Pudding Patrons in Granbury, Texas!

L'Art de Roulade


In my paramount belief of the French Paradox, my senses were hypnotized by the mesmerizing Chocolate Roulade gussied up in a pretty silver-foiled, fanned paper cup. The poshed ‘sweet roll’ was composed of a light brown chocolate spongy cake intermingled with a slightly cool indulgent whipped filling. The thick, semi sweet chocolate topping coupled with flourished white chocolate lines on top added to the intensity of this already pretentious pastry. One bite and I could hardly contain my lady like poise and nearly disrupted what should be the proper savoir faire of cake eating! In short, this Roulade was like a French woman, effortlessly elegant and refined. The conviction of this treat was quite engrossing and I can recommend it whole heartedly. The chic, uh, err, I mean classe...chic is so passé it seems, pastry set me in french mode and had me celebrating the utterance of a compliant syllable or two: Délicieux! Ah, Merci Becoup Swiss Pastry in Le Funky Town, Fort Worth! Until my next venture, Bonjour my fellow cake enthusiasts.

Death by Chocolate


The Old Neighborhood Grill in Fort Worth, Texas serves up the most generous slice of deeply appeasing chocolate cake. I would say enough to feed two chocolate enthusiasts at the very least. I, however, ate the cake all by myself. And what is so exceptionally note-worthy about having done that? Nothing really, for we will always want to have our cake and eat it ALL too. I just wondered whether the rear axle of my car would be able to cope with the strain afterward! That was a risk I was willing to take, for this cake was to DIE for, eh and after all, Wednesdays are my reckless days. This chocolate motif was a montage of everything chocolate with three layers of sugar continuity. It was affectionate and toothsome in texture. My body congregated into a blissful chocolate toxin. The spongy cake was moist and the extremely rich frosting was murderous to the senses. It was an absolute remission of sin. Death by chocolate? Very well then. A Post Mortem report from the other side: Glad to say, everything's made of chocolate... hip, hip hooray!

A is for Apple


If Johnny Appleseed's plan was to get the nation hooked on apples, he would have been pleased to see I am hooked on Granny Smith’s Apple cake. This apple lover’s delight suggests the commencement of my favorite season of the year, autumn. Just like the leaves begin to fall during this magical term, so did my love for this lip-puckering cake. It's a dense, moist cake, sullied and amplified by baked apples and walnuts. Embellished with a crisp and sour sliced Granny Smith apple, it’s also one of the prettiest slices of cake I’ve seen. The mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and brown sugar sitting jubilantly over a pool of super gooey caramel completely set me into an orchard of joy! The mini pieces of caramelized baked apples nestled cozily into the batter and wallowed there happily, just begging to be eaten. For its plea, I showed great mercy and did just that; blessed are the merciful for they shall be rewarded with a copious harvest of cake! This impressive cake captivated my interest, not only because of its perpetual sweetness, but because it was perfected by an amazing chef who completed his internship at Le Cordon Bleu Culinary Arts Institute in Paris. The age-old adage, "An Apple A Day..." is being more and more clearly substantiated thanks to this breath taking slice of heaven. A is for apple but also for astonishing, admirable and absolutely divine!

Dos Amores ♥♥


I've always found some sort of diversion when drab, somber feelings creep up and intrude. Typically, I'd opt for a power hour shopping spree that might rejuvenate an outfit or buying some senseless item merely because it yelled out clearance! The other option, the most novel idea I had that day of a way to rid the blasphemous feelings, was to bask in the glory of having TWO desserts in the same sitting. This was so much more therapeutic, delicious and might I add, easier on the pocketbook. So, I had an amorous encounter with two very ambrosial desserts, a special Walnut cake and Tiramisu. The Walnut cake, House Specialty, in all its glory was accentuated by a brown sugar and maple syrup concoction making the cake unsoundingly moist. The hint of nutmeg and vanilla, boundless amounts of cinnamon, cute little chopped walnuts and sprinkled snowy-like white powdered sugar perfected its unique being. It was almost suggestive of a meshed composition of Baklavas. It was instant gratification for my tamped soul. Now, meandering to the charming Tiramisu: layers of glamorized Lady Finger biscuits soaked in a savoring espresso coffee, provoked by a double layer of a slightly cool whipped mascarpone cheese filling and finally accentuated by cocoa espresso powder hovering over hints of white powdered sugar. It was refreshing, slightly cool and left an inevitable impression. So, if you ever feel the need to conquer self worth and defeat what is mere melancholy, you might just find a way to do it at a quaint little diner known as Scampi's in Fort Worth, Texas. "Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay...Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that's Amore!"

I've Got a Crush on You!


General consensus from my own unofficial poll taken over the weekend concluded that very few people had heard of Pineapple Pie and much worse, never tasted one. So, I was completely elated when I was invited to try Paris Coffee Shop’s Pineapple Pie, served only on Mondays. The flavors of this pie worked beautifully together: the light golden pie crust embodied by a pineapple custard-like filling with tidbits of crushed pineapple in every single bite and nestled to perfection under what appeared to be a whopping three inch lightly scorched meringue. The hymns of praise eluded from my mouth after the very first bite! True nature has manifested into this tropical flair! The pie was wonderfully serendipitous, delightful to the taste buds, delectable to the palate and did I mention, because it's pineapple, the instant ‘throw in’ of essential Vitamins A and C. Va-Va Voom… I never eat anything that’s not beneficial to my health or my taste buds! This pie is a serious contender to all the others that were beautifully showcased or perhaps only on Mondays, it morphs into global domination. The extravagant affair I was having with this pie, put me in my own luau state of mind. Oh Pineapple Pie, I’m so crushing on you!

I think I've Died and Gone to Heaven

The word PIE has to be a sultry acronym for Precise Intense Eating! Paris Coffee Shop serves up the most of the quintessential Coconut Cream Pies. This pie crust was no cracker crumb aficionado; faux paus crusts are sooo not cool. The homemade crust was airy, yet had a rich texture filled with a thickened coconut flavored pudding gloriously layered with a water melting meringue and then finally topped with gorgeous, toasted coconut flakes. The decoupage of the intensely sweet layers, gave me the greatest feeling and relief coupled with giddy anticipation of having finally found the most decadent Coconut Cream Pie on the face of this universe! There's a chemical released when you eat this pie that produces the hysterical adrenaline necessary for wanting to take your passions and dreams further in life. Well okay, so it sounds a bit overdramatic but seriously uh huh...it's the pie enzyme! OMG, OMG, OMG *swoon! This pie makes me feel like assessing all the unmentionables (take that to be interpreted as you may). Experiences this enjoyable should be illegal. If the quote "You'll have pie in the sky when you die" dares to be taken literally, then kill me painfully and oh so slowly and let me go to pie heaven!

The Sweetest Little Things...

I toppled onto Hot Rodz Café in Terrell, Texas, where they served up one of the most iconic of American traditions…pie, only moon shaped and petite and oh so cute and oh so marvelous! So, the idea of packaged little pies typically found in fast food restaurants always sent me into a frizzled frenzy….eeeww fried, greasy pies! Contrary to what appears that I don’t endow in good eating habits, I don’t eat fried foods but I was open to testing the relative merits of what is deep-fried. The glory of a fried pie resulted in a satisfied tummy and comforted soul. This place gave you the choice of peach, apple, cherry or chocolate fried pie; I opted for the apple one. If a baked turnover was delicate and refined, the FRIED one was outrageously, amazingly luscious. Served up warm, this pastry was puffy and crisp on the edges and sprinkled with powdered sugar, but tender and pillowy within. The filling of finely cut apples sautéed with cinnamon and butter no longer posed an eating hazard. In fact, I would have traded a clogged artery or two given the opportunity to eat more than one in the same sitting. The two mini scoops of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream on top was just enough to add more pleasure to the palate. If you just happen to be asking if these little hand pies would make a perfect breakfast pastry, well then, the answer would probably be a resounding YES! I could have these for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Aaah…it’s truly the little things that count!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Virtual Presence Be Known...still here!

This is probably going to be the least dramatic post thus far. Why? Maybe because today's sugar intake that has spiraled out of control earlier has now began to dither within reason. A two-bit swallow of an entire candy bar coupled with a chewy pack of Starbursts gave way to my own rationalization...I'm deservant of this right now and besides, my glucose level feels quite unstable. The only way to alleviate that God-awful feeling of clamminess, dizziness and spot-seeing is to seek out that quick fix. That's right...artificial sugar overdose! I'm almost half way through this trialing journey. Thank you to my former nemesis for not sending any more virtual cakes. I appreciate the empathy that has been placed upon me. Thanks to my dear, close friends who apologized profusely when a cake comment slipped. Thank you to those that withheld cake for my sake in my presence. Your virtuous commitment to my insanity means alot. I'd say shame on those who taunted me, but your ill manners have made me stronger! I'm keeping a daily diary of my mood swings so that not only will you bestow an abundance of empathy upon me but to serve as evidence that without cake, LIFE can be unbearable! Much Love, -L


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Don't Cry for Me Argentina...and all other cake enthusiasts all over the world

It's Ash Wednesday and in honor of Lent, I have decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and be one without cake AND the like. I will be the noble one. I will do this for cake enthusiasts all over the world so that no one else will have to suffer without. I will withstand the maddening temptations and bypass those floury fusions for forty days and forty nights. Head high, but never losing the peripheral vision on that one slice, I will keep my promise to you, my fellow cake panders. I will reckon with the imminent disparity that will result from this tragic experiment. Let me be the one to wake in cold sweats in the middle of my comfy slumber massaging my distended belly. I will survive and maybe lose a pound or two. So, "Don't cry for me Argentina; the truth is I never left you; all through my wild days (of eating cake and such), my mad existence, I kept my promise; don't keep your distance." I will be back soon...hungrier and with a deeper desire to bleed cake again! I love you and hope you love me. *end of infinitely, overly dramatic post* ♥ Laura-aka-the girl who wishes she wasn't Catholic on this day.