Thanksgiving Havoc? Not for this girl!

As I post this, I am comfortably lounging in what I refer to as my stretchy pants (um, yep so comfortable that they require placement in italic form).  I woke up this morning feeling rather carefree.  You see, because of some current altering events in my personal life, I was able to make the choice to make this Thanksgiving stress free.  I ordered the turkey dinner with all the trimmings this year.  I apologize for the fact that I used everything that is disposable for the sake of an entire tree forest. But nonetheless, I am today grinning from ear to ear as I reminisce on the fact that last year this time, I was secretly obsessing over wanting to be Martha Stewart's apprentice. I didn't get that expensive turkey baster or  even a shoddy one for that matter.  What to do with the cranberry sauce?  Who cares!  I have failed spectacularly in my domestic capacities and it feels exceptionally wonderful!  On the other hand, however, I did take the time to pay tribute to the blessings in my life. I am completely smittened when I think about it.  And on an oddly ravishing note, I must also thankfully behold the quirky benedictions that make me who I am.  I still don't feel insecure about the compulsory arguments I feel I need to have with myself.  I still feel that the fact that my insanely clumsiness has not failed me to come to a complete fall as of this date but that fact that I secretly rehearse that tragic recovery keeps my persona open to not being afraid of falling.  I keep saying I won't wear those shoes again; call me insatiably stubborn! I am continually banking on the fact that my OCD has successfully paroled into something productive and the fact that once again this year, my being has not yet morphed into a sugar comatose.  For today I have taken that premature obituary and have shredded it into itsy bitsy pieces!  I fit right into this whimsical and fun life no matter what it places before me. So, now that my stretchy pants have conformed to me, I think room has been made for a warm piece of Apple pie.  A Happy Happy Thanksgiving to you all my fellow Cake Enthusiasts!  And remember....when life hands you lemons, make lemon pie!  

You Darn Right...I like cake!

I like cake, no mistake, but baby if you insist, I'll cut out the cake, just for your sake!  Ummm...I think not! Baby, C'mon and knock me a kiss.  I like pie, I hope to die, just get a load of this when you get high, doggone the pie! No matter what life hands you, sometimes things get better when you take the time to indulge in the sweet things it has to offer...and YES, I am totally referring to cake.  I know it's been far too long that I have posted anything.  By all means, please discard any sneers. But you see, I have been put through some painstaking tribulations that have exploded rapidly out of control and with that control harbored my love for cake venturing.  I think I'm making some progress and am ready to get back into the wonderful and exciting world of cake again.  I made the mistake of letting life's mishaps get in the way of indulging in my daily sinful intakes.  Who does that?  Don't let anything ever take you away from what you love.  After all, cake, pie, chocolate and those darn intoxicating white powdered donuts were created on the eighth day to make life sweeter.  I want cake and I want it all...who's with me?  

Despicable Me!

It's been a while I know but you see, I have a confession to make...I haven't ventured out for anything enticing worth blogging about.  Lately, the defeat of life's daunting activities itself have kept me from enjoying the things I look forward to doing, i.e...cake hunting! At times, I've gone through my day, whether it’s at work or at home and I vicariosly convince myself that today will be the day I venture out. With my list in hand of places to visit, despicably so, I'm suddenly dragging my senses to the cafeteria.  Now mind you, I must also confess in an odd and very pertubed sort of way, that I find myself excitedly making a push to the desserts dome. And so undescribably, I take only moments to decide which cake to get.  So who cares if I pick Tuesday's cake and today is Thursday! So who cares if the cake is dry, who cares if it has raisins, who cares if it's so tasteless that I eat only the icing, and who cares if it's pre-packaged and delivered by some third party vendor! Obviously, in my out-of-mind rut...I don't! I have succumbed to just that!  I need to get out of this schtick.

So just as I stooped to the lowest level...day old carrot cake, yep, from the cafeteria again, my mood had been suddenly lifted. A rich and succulent chocolate brownie cupcake from Central Market made its way to me by way of a wonderful friend.  The picture alone describes the thousand delicious words I would normally get carried away with. One bite and I felt like I was rehabilitated. This is possibly just the diversion I needed. It allows for the possibility that I might just be that girl again. I don’t know, on some Tuesday in August at some unspecified point in the history of the world, I will be heading out again, crossing off my list of tasty venues. I want to get back on track and eat REAL cake. Enough of the sadly staged sattire, forget desperate times calling for desperate measures...forget cafeteria cake! In lieu of the real thing, I'll opt for the packaged white-powdered donuts from the gift shop as a plan for my grand scheme instead!

The ultimate countdown to Glory!

Day 1 It’s the official kick off to Lent and about the worst day ever for me! Temptation surrounds me.

Day 2 Relieved Day One has come and gone but in theory, slowly staring at my own demise.

Day 3 My glucose level is dropping and I’m feeling slightly faint.

Day 4 What’s a girl to do to get away from cake?

Day 5 Still alive and kicking with an ‘mmph’ of hostility

Day 6 It’s George Washington’s Birthday. If he was still alive, we’d be sharing cake right now. RIP Georgey.

Day 7 A full sacrificial week and I don’t feel any better. I’m really grumpy now.

Day 8 What in heaven’s name will I eat now to offset my glucose imbalance?

Day 9 Discovered I can eat Ice cream…lots of it!

Day 10 Had caramelized pecans as a distraction from the floury fusions…thank you friend.

Day 11 Embarked upon a birthday celebration surrounded by a giant cake and cute little cupcakes; accidently got icing on finger but restrained from licking it off with said tongue...ugh!

Day 12 Large tub of homemade sopapillas placed in front of me; resisted by eating an abundance of tamales instead.

Day 13 Monday blues…really could use a whole cake right about now; deterred from watching Cake Boss tonight!

Day 14 Finding myself more and more difficult to live with. Fighting my own internal war.

Day 15 Daydreaming of a German chocolate cake; looking forward to cake celebration...oh yeah!

Day 16 Really? Do those around me who never bake, want to start now…seriously? Yearning for that As Seen on TV Perfect Brownie cake pan.

Day 17 Pouted excessively for several minutes when kids asked for donuts!

Day 18 Stared in the mirror for a minute…my tummy appears more slimming.

Day 19 Stared in the mirror for two minutes …yesterday was a misconception…bulging belly still exists.

Day 20 Thinking of consuming one of those superficial energy drinks for a much-needed sugar rush.

Day 21 Aaggghhhh! About to lose my mind! Can anyone hear me?

Day 22 Please accept my apologies for yesterday’s outburst. I’m better today.

Day 23 What has this world come to? Please stop sending me virtual cakes! Really annoyed by others’ joy of cake eating.

Day 24 Sporting my new patent leather shoes….cake? What’s that?

Day 25 Short-lived distraction…love my shoes but love cake even more!

Day 26 My skin is blotchy…need the sugar-infused ingredients to help rejuvenate the glow.

Day 27 Live and learn…will convert to a Baptist next year. Just kidding Mom :)

Day 28 Too much ice cream has revealed possible lactose intolerance.

Day 29 It’s St. Patty’s Day…almost stole a green cupcake to save for later! Someone pinch me.

Day 30 Anonymous blog reader posted nasty comment. Do they really think I’m whiney? Delete, delete, delete! Take that! If you don’t like cake, get off my site.

Day 31 Anonymous blog reader commented back with apology…will consider slice of cake as peace-offering.

Day 32 Decided to filter comments that do not contain the word “love”.

Day 33 Imagined myself baking all day Easter…I’m really delirious now.

Day 34 Why oh why must I feel this way?

Day 35 Thinking about cabana boys to occupy my mind

Day 36 Realized cabana boys are non-existent in my neck of the woods.

Day 37 Contemplating starting own Yada Yada Cake Abstinence group…eh!

Day 38 Patience is the greatest virtue but I can’t wait!

Day 39 Upset Ricky Martin proclaimed homosexuality. I really need cake now!

Day 40 Inhaled an entire bag of Jet-Puffed marshmallows…what a sick-o, psycho…same thing!

Day 41 Forty days have passed but newer Catholicism beliefs give way to an extra seven days…ugh!

Day 42 Let the countdown begin!

Day 43 My salivary glands are in full mode now

Day 44 Commencement of Operation ‘It’s all About Me”

Day 45 Oh yeah…heading toward divine intervention!

Day 46 Excitement overload. One-too-many glasses of Chardonnay made the night go by really fast!

Day 47 Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halleluuuuuuuuuujah! A cake enthusiast’s lottery to be had! I’m jubilantly grinning from ear to ear. Pineapple Upside Down gorged with a sip of coffee set the day for the upcoming cake ventures!

What an experience this has been! To live without eating cake and anything floury, buttery and utterly sweet for forty-seven long days and even longer nights was extreme for a cake enthusiast as myself. My terrible mood swings evidenced that one cannot live on love alone and certainly should never , ever attempt to do so again! Do not deny yourself the sweeter things in life. It's great to be zealous over cake again. Never again will I abandon you my fellow cake enthusiasts! I'm baaaaack!

Virtual Presence Be Known...still here!

This is probably going to be the least dramatic post thus far. Why? Maybe because today's sugar intake that has spiraled out of control earlier has now began to dither within reason. A two-bit swallow of an entire candy bar coupled with a chewy pack of Starbursts gave way to my own rationalization...I'm deservant of this right now and besides, my glucose level feels quite unstable. The only way to alleviate that God-awful feeling of clamminess, dizziness and spot-seeing is to seek out that quick fix. That's right...artificial sugar overdose! I'm almost half way through this trialing journey. Thank you to my former nemesis for not sending any more virtual cakes. I appreciate the empathy that has been placed upon me. Thanks to my dear, close friends who apologized profusely when a cake comment slipped. Thank you to those that withheld cake for my sake in my presence. Your virtuous commitment to my insanity means alot. I'd say shame on those who taunted me, but your ill manners have made me stronger! I'm keeping a daily diary of my mood swings so that not only will you bestow an abundance of empathy upon me but to serve as evidence that without cake, LIFE can be unbearable! Much Love, -L

When I stop to think about all the blessings in my life, I could go on and on feverishly listing them to infinity. Today though, I would like to share with you, my fellow cake enthusiasts, just a few things I am thankful for that make up the whirlwind of a cake-obsessed, true epitome of a mad hatter, sugar-infused, too-many-times completely misunderstand girl…and all that is implied.

Every day, I am thankful that I have been given one more day to live this sweet as cake, beautiful and chaotic life of mine! I am thankful for flour, butter, baking powder, cocoa, frosting, sprinkles, butter (worth mentioning twice) and all that is chocolate and all that is sweet. I am thankful that my metabolism hadn’t come down to a jolting halt; otherwise, my cake posts would be much more infrequent. I am thankful to know that should I fall while carrying a piece of cake, I have it all conjured up in my head as to how I would pick it and myself up graciously…genius preempt planning, uh huh, I know! I am thankful for all the unsolicited quirks about cake eating I get from the people in my life. Life would be so unconstitutional without the hooey anecdotes that lead up to such comments. I am thankful my OCD is now banking on ordinary depreciation; my obsession with my vacuum has now been replaced with the cyber world of blogging but not to say that I wouldn’t be superbly ecstatic to be the owner of a new Dyson! I am thankful for my good health, despite the excessive sugar hangovers and contrary to my mother’s fear I will soon develop diabetes along with WebMD’s coincidental facts on the possibilities. I am thankful I can be satisfied by my failed attempts at baking and am able to live with it. I wasn't kidding when I said I eat a lot more than I bake! I am thankful for the opportunity to share with my fellow cake enthusiasts all the happiness that is circumferenced by cake and the fact that the insanity of cake somewhat depletes the insanity of ME! I’m thankful that it is NOT compulsory to have the need to argue with myself about what cake I’ll be having today. I am thankful that I can be moody, intractable and monomaniacal at times and that no matter what, cake usually makes it better! Happy Thanksgiving fellow cake enthusiasts…keep eating cake, after all, is there really anything more genial? An abundance of cake blessings to you all on this day and everyday! Go Cake

Pie and Thanksgiving Havoc

So, here I am on the eve of Thanksgiving daydreaming of the wonderful buffet that will stand before me tomorrow and how I secretly in a sort of odd yet canonical way wish I had exhaustedly and unaided prepared the entire feast all by myself. For the past few days, all the talk and complaints overheard from women about the exhausting preparations and all the cooking that has to be done for this yearly havoc of a meal sent me into some sort of dire need to want to be one to also complain and yet enjoy the satisfaction of the fruits of such labor afterward. Sounds a bit unrighteous and chauvinistic perhaps? Maybe, but I want to be Martha for once! I want to stuff the turkey and lace its hind legs to its tail just so. I want my turkey to be indulgingly moist and buttery. I want to own an expensive turkey baster. I want the stuffing to be created from scratch and use real cornbread. I want to know what to do with cranberry sauce. I want it all…but unfortunately, this year, I’m willing to overturn triumphancy! So, instead I will take, as some over achievers might negate, ‘baby steps’. Yes, that will suffice for now. I’ll start with pie. What a novel idea! Since I’m a novice pie maker, I cheated and bought the frozen pie crusts. I found a wonderful recipe for a Caramel-Walnut pie. Fast forward 45 minutes later. My goodness, I completely surpassed my own expectation. I baked a pie! Once the center was ‘set’, I knew my culinary skills were reaping, behind the dark scene, in its own hidden glory. The pie was very tasty and oh so deliciously splendid. I welcomed every bite with an apparent smile. By the way, I’ve read somewhere about some study that revealed that women who ate an abundant amount of pie were happier than those who didn’t similarly indulge. This definitely explains why women on diets don’t smile…ha! So to stay true to such statistics, I decided to bake two pies! With my nominal boost of confidence, I can, today, utter those vainglorious words I’ve been dying to say, “Eat your heart out Martha! Happy, Happy Thanksgiving. Its okay fellow cake enthusiasts, to be gratified by pie instead of cake today. Cake is not on my Thanksgiving menu!

Easy as Pie

Ever think about the phrases, THAT'S A PIECE OF CAKE and IT’S EASY AS PIE -- "Something that can be done easily and pleasurably.” The thought surely derives from the fact that for most people eating a piece of cake is easy and a pleasure as it should be. I'm still wondering about those phrases however. A piece of cake is easy to cut, but not so easy to make. And what's so easy about pie? Have you ever made one? Did you also make the crust? I know there has to be SOMETHING easy about pie. But if it had a crust, I'm still not sure how it could be easy.I’ve baked a few cakes but have not baked any pies in my time and don’t imagine there is nothing easy about doing so--it's not arduous, but it is certainly not carefree! Particularly if you prepare the crust from scratch as opposed to using something from a box (ugh!) or ready made in the grocery store (double ugh!). Could the expression have an implication such as: "Easy as eating a piece of pie" perhaps? And so, I’ve come to the conclusion that is the synonymous implication indeed. Surely eating a piece of good pie or cake is an easy thing to do. At least it is for me! I eat a lot more than I bake but as soon as I can rummage through my messy collection of magazine recipes (ouch... hate to admit that out loud), I will be posting tried and true fool proof recipes that I know work. Until then, eat more cake!

Oh Birthday Cake!

On a normal day, this might seem strange, but on my birthday,the simple concoction of milk, cream, eggs, sugar and flour brought tears to my eyes. A dear lady at work made a Texas Sheet cake just for me! The thought that someone stayed up the night before whipping the eggs, sifting the flour and watching the chocolate powder and sugar boil carefully on a stove top to pure perfection overwhelms me with AWE. The cake, delicious and moist, would overkill a diabetic...twice! I was so ecstatic. I received nice gifts from the girls, a fun filled night with my family and got to sport my cowgirl boots and pick the country venue of my choice. It's true that sometimes you CAN have your cake and EAT it too and it's my party and I'll pig out if I want to!

Cake & Divine Intervention!

I have been fixated on cake for quite some time now. I'm not quite sure how I got to this point but I've realized I lost touch with who I thought I was - a somewhat happy, immoderate girl who never denies herself an emotion, an opinion or a candy bar. What I had not realized was how much I thrived on cake until now. "Come have lunch in the cafeteria", my alter ego would whisper. "They are serving cake." Cake for lunch! It shone through my American density like a sunbeam. Sometimes there was an occasion, but sometimes there was not and any kind of cake usually would do, Whipped Walnut, German chocolate, Black Forrest, Carrot cake, Tres Leches... just to name a few of my favorites. Does my slavering obsession with sweets, particularly cake, really belie some flaw, something essentially insatiable about myself? Nah, probably not, I just love CAKE! This newly found divine intervention has helped me in more ways than one...cake makes things better, it makes me happy, it cheers me up when I'm down, it helps soothe sorrow, it helps me concentrate and it's cheaper than therapy!