Here's to the Sweet Life

 

Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. For me, in a funny way, making New Year’s resolutions follows that definition. So before 2013 begins, embrace the past year as being exactly as it was meant to be. So what if you didn't get to accomplish what you wanted to last year!  Accept what is and get clear on what you want moving forward. Shout it to the Universe and know that every day (never mind every year) is a new slate. I say this with great optimism as I fall victim to the Repressed Resolution Makers' club.  Although I did accomplish many things this past year, there are still greater things I would like to do but in a more retrospective way; I'm talking about doing something for my soul this year.  Something that can give me a renowned sense of being alive. Something that can also have counter effects because dammit dangitt...I am far less perfect than the pope and I know I will have several hiccups and setbacks in the repreival of good intentions. Did I mention I headed up the Good Girls Gone Astray Because Someone Pissed Them Off club?   So this year, my New Year's Resolutions are taking on a new meaning...kinda sorta. So in my own sickly retrospective way, here are my 10 New Year's Revolutions Resolutions (just kidding) for my soul, always with some attached minor clause of course:

1. I resolve to love myself each and every day with all my flaws unless I’m having a bad hair day or the bags under my eyes are protruding.
2. I resolve to allow others to be themselves even if I prefer they were more like me :)
3. I resolve to see the positive aspects of every situation unless it makes me sick or throw up. 
4. I resolve to express appreciation daily unless I'm in jail.
5. I resolve to tell the inner judge to go away unless they are guilty of a fashion disgrace.
6. I resolve to forgive myself and others. This year I really mean it!
7. I resolve to spend less time reliving the past and more worrying about the future.  Hmmm...which is the lesser of two evils?
   
8. I resolve to spend as much time with Mother Nature as possible…well so long as it doesn’t cause me to sweat or freeze.
9. I resolve to shut down the computer, turn off my phone, and connect with my loved ones for quality time each and every day…unless we are making fun of people falling on YouTube. 
10. I resolve to live and let live!

Life is dense, just like Red Velvet cake  but sometimes it is  sweeter than a slice of Hummingbird cake and sometimes it takes on a different meaning when piled high with dollops of whipped cream and sometimes it looks better on the outside than it tastes but just like cake... LIFE is a variety of choices. So fellow cake enthusiasts, enjoy your choices with a nice, tall glass of something.  Do not covet anyone else's slice.  Enjoy the plethora of slices...even if you pick the one that looks better than it tastes!

Happy New Year!

 

Faith...how sweet it is!

Where does the time go? It's July already and the fact that retailers are merchandising their Christmas trees only adds to the notion that time sure does fly!   But with that being said, it is halfway through the year and I can say I have stubbornly in most ways obliged to my New Year's resolutions and then some.  Sooooo...I get this cylinder maroon thinggy majiggy in the mail the other day.  Even with no return address, I shrug my shoulders in various spasmodic poses followed by a mildly pretentious giddiness as I study it.  And then I smile.  I carefully remove the label, gently scratching away at the shreds of tape holding the seams together and then pop off the top.  And in this pretty concoction, is my latest goal...achieved.  I finally finished my degree after years of whining and making every excuse in the book to not finish.  To get there, I had to endure many late nights, mental post breakdowns and mini panic attacks that don't seem so grueling now.  Many times I wanted to throw in the towel, ignore an assignment, enter nonsense gibberish in a post whilst seeking only my word count requirement but in those moments, there was always something that steered me straight.  Perhaps it was faith.  Ah yes...that word!  Defined as a strong, unshakable belief in something, it can define almost anything; you just gotta have it and once you've tasted it, you will want to keep going back for seconds and then before you know it, it becomes this potluck thing that becomes your specialty and people always rely on you to bring it to every occasion.  Where is Laura? Will she be bringing her specialty "faith a la mode"?  "Oh, of course" they will say.  "A party just isn't a party without that dish."  (Insert a handful of applauds and deep sighs).  Well...okay so the backyard barbecue conversations are a bit much and perhaps a wee bit oh...let's say over-the-top but nonetheless, this is what plays in my head  when I think about the changes that I need to make in my life and that I have to have faith to know believe everything will work out just fine.  Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?  Please!  Faith will quickly disseminate that phrase.  Listen to Gandhi or Mother Teresa or heck, even me (please excuse my lack of modesty while I insert myself into a sentence with those two legends).  Have faith in all you do and in the meantime Keep Calm and well you know...eat cake.

Truly Delicious!

Urban legends?  Myths?  Town gossip?  Do any of these things entice you?  Would you answer differently if enticed with a piece of pie?  Of course! And that's what happened to me when I took a country drive to Hico, Texas where the town motto is “Where Everybody is Somebody!”  This quaint town seems friendly enough to discount the fallacies it has been burdened with for years. The Koffee Kup Restaurant located in the heart of the town is a popular cafe known for its world famous pies which incidentally are topped with a serious peak of meringue but also for the urban legend that the restaurant once named The Koffee Kup Kafe was a meeting ground for the infamous Ku Klux Klan. The story goes that the name created somewhat of a squawk that the owners found it necessary to change it.  People visit this cafe for several reasons. It made Texas Monthly’s list of top 40 cafes, it caught Guy Fieri's attention, and for the fascination of the town saga. Seated at the entrance table, I noticed there were names carved into the wood, undoubtedly preserved with oodles of layered lacquer.  The longer I sat, the more time my mind had to go into convulsions as I tried to further analyze the credence of the tall tell. What did these names represent? Even though I had already came up with my own spin, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the waitress.  "Oh those names...those are just names of some coffee club members that used to come in every morning; they're probably already dead since that was along time ago", she said. Posing in what I call my disbelief stance...tilting my head then squinting my eyes, I responded with this uncontrollable wit that was dying to come out even though afterward, I couldn't believe I said it!  "Hm...I bet none of those guys ever took their coffee black huh?"  I snickered.as I was trying desperately to lighten things up for my sake.  It was apparent she didn't think I was funny. "OK, stop it Laura before you get in trouble and enjoy the pie she just brought!" Ah yes...the pie!  One bite is all it took to lose interest in any ole spoof. There is certainly one thing though that I know is TRUE.  Their pecan pie was oh soooo good!  It's so easy to get carried away in our  imagination that we tend to add to or mix up the story but one thing I cannot coil is that our taste buds cannot be persuaded into believing something is not good when it is! 

Disclaimer:  To anyone who reads this and could potentially have ties with the aforementioned organization, this post was not intended to infuse the myth or to stir up any trouble. Any resemblance to names appearing here could simply be coincidental and the words contained herein are just a set of carefully laid out nouns and verbs with a few conjunctions, if you will; therefore the writer cannot be held libel for her own silly musings.  It's a simple post from a sick simple minded girl who just likes to eat pie. That's it! 

Sweet-Talkin' Resolutions

The beginning of a new year strikes us with the notion of a fresh beginning.  Perhaps last year was pretty pathetic, somewhat intolerable or a hair bit dizzy and thank the heavens that it has passed! But in the whilst of letting go, we tend to amplify our thoughts that this year will be "the year".  But "my year" cannot be it unless I  can tame my cynicism and realize that wit does not always win. And this I will certainly seek to get past. Weeks before Jan 1st, I begin to obsess over a premeditated list and as I modify it for the 23rd time, I become overwhelmed.   My list...is it too inconceivable, too uncanny, or perhaps too vain for my own good?  Can I really pull some of these things off?  So instead of fretting, I have modified my list for the 24th time. This year I am going to start small and grow BIG.   Short of an angel apprentice, I have good intentions. I really do!  So with an utmost conviction, I give you my brief list of some things I plan to gamble with in 2012:

1.  Write more...even if it means jotting down incoherent thoughts.  Thank goodness for the military     encryption protection Penzu has created.  Genius!  If only I could remember my password :(
2.  Drink more water.  Something is wrong if I can hold it for 8 hours straight.  This I vow to the organ donor organization and my kidneys will be happy too.
3.  Lay off the white powdered donuts.  Spend that weekly $5.45 to take in a matinee instead,  preferably a funny movie with low Siskel and Ebert reviews. Those guys don't like to laugh.
4.  Pay it forward.  I can so do this.
5.  Forgive. Forgive and forget...or at least don't bring it up in the middle of a fight.
6.  Talk about myself in third person so I can get a better understanding of what the heck I'm thinking. 
7.  Listen...really listen.  Listen without making faces as an implied remark or reaction.  Mother always told me my nose would stay crunched up if I didn't stop making faces!
8.  Judge no one...unless they are wearing black undies with white bottoms.
9.  Take violin lessons...real ones and leave the YouTube lessons for the more advanced.
10. Love myself more so I can love those around me.  

So my fellow cake enthusiasts, enjoy the plethora of wishful thinking and new beginnings whether it be dusting off that ole gym membership, trading in that unreliable scale or being ninny hammered by those electronic cigarettes. If I should fail to accomplish any of these deeds perhaps this year is not "my year".  Happy New Beginnings!  Love L

  

Mama Mia!

Ever daydream of escaping to an Italian vineyard or casually taking the customary passeggiata through the streets of Sienna, Florence, Napoli or Sorrento in search of something delectable for the appetite?  Oh yeah…I’m a girl with big dreams too! Luckily, we have our very own passport to little Italy or better yet… to Nonna Tata which is equally intriguing and even more charismatic.  A quaint little diner located on Magnolia Street, right in the heart of the Fairmont district of Fort Worth, is as close to Italy as your yen can get. Once I had a fill of the never apprehensive focaccia bread blanketed in olive oil and a few glasses of red vino, this girl was ready for dessert! One of the most flirtatious desserts on the menu was the Almond Ricotta cake with lemon sauce, a combination of a rich pudding and caaaaake!  Served warm, the cream center perfectly balanced the texture of the almonds and the tartness of the lemons; can you say …Mama Mia! The delicate taste of almond and lemon compliment each other in a really wonderful way.  And since I’m a natural exaggerator, I’m going to go ahead and say it in my not-so-best Italian Ah…E’ semplicemente magnificio!”  So, get there early in the evening, enjoy the cozy ambience, exhale slowly after each sip of your favorite wine, indulge in the appetizers, get your fill of the pastas and enjoy the immortal desserts! 

Chunka Hunka Burnin' Love

So, on a savory quest to find cake, I stumbled upon the next best thing...a chocolate chunk pie! Oh, and what a fantabulous reprieve! This is just what I've been needing to help clear my cluttered mind. Every bite seemed to help me breathe deeper while every swallow helped me exhale all the worrisome thoughts.  So, it sounds a bit recognizant but ooooh, if only you knew my fellow cake enthusiasts the privies that this untamed and godforesaken groundless girl has held, you'd understand why I had eaten the huge slice of pie almost to its entirety.  Well deserved, I say...well deserved. Is it fair that this rich pie had everything to gain and nothing to lose?  This chunka hunka burnin' love of a traditional pecan pie revamped with endless seepage of caramel and coarse chocolate chunks all mantled perfectly into a delicious crust was the ultimate netherworld I tell ya.  If I compared myself to this pie, I'd say, yep, I'd have everything to gain and nothing to lose too, well...um, maybe five pounds and my dignity.  Maybe?  Nah, dignity, chignity! Sometimes,  we just have to sloooow down and enjoy the sweeter things in life and what a novel idea of mine for today.  Life is fair.  Life is sweet.  Life is cake and pie and chocolate and all it implies AND everything else that causes the serotonins to go gaga and buck wild absent some enhanced narcotic. Life makes no reservation, so go out on a limb and visit the Pie Place & Bakery in Burleson, Texas if you want   a taste of an inhaling life-changing moment.

Happy 2011 Fellow Cake Enthusiasts!

Another year has come and gone.  For the impressionable, I will not negate that I was able to commit to some of 2010’s resolutions...really.  While I didn’t make a dent in the rosin, my poor violin is still shamelessly sitting in a dark corner but on the other hand, I did manage to read some classic novels and some juicy trilogies this year while I let those fab gawd-awful trashy mags collect dust and water rings throughout.  While my self-indulgent Wednesdays have become obselete, I did manage to have a quarter-life crisis while seeping out tantrums galore.  But this is a new year and in the name of social and economic prosperity and for the safety of mankind, here are my intentions for 2011, well kinda:

1. Dulcify my life…a hard lesson has taught me that only I can make myself happy
2. Continue to throw tantrums when I see fit but realize that sometimes pouting, stomping and saying four letter words doesn't work with everyone…will have to get more creative this year!
3. Letting go of my feelings of guilt; this will put me in touch with my sociopath
4. Get lost less...thanks to Tom Tom.
5. Continue to disarm myself with that gym membership…walking and running is cheaper
6. While amidst being at war with my vices, accept that I can’t change who I am and be content with my dual personality...especially when an alibi is needed. (Grin, sigh... explosive grin).
7. Try to not wear so many "stretchy pants" out in public along with those eye soring Crocs…in socks.  If I do get caught in this faux fashion disgrace, accept the fact I may be nominated for the next contender on “What not to Wear”.  Hey, who wouldn’t want to shop in NY? Fancy Smanchy stretchy pants.
8. Continue to hoard my cake guiltlessly
9. Reinstate at least one reckless day as if I were celebrating my 50^th birthday
10. Nothing comes amiss, so I will stop trying to take leaps and bounds and instill baby steps instead.

So kids...enjoy your binge diets, your stiffening will to quit bad habits and your new, shiny gym memberships.  I will be fine in 2011...as long as I am not in prison.

Disparity: "I'm A Gettin' Chocolate Wasted!"

Despite the fact that on this day, I had been feeling somewhat discouraged in both my personal and work life, I made the decision to venture out for cake as a wholly reprieve to yank me from that "oh woe is me" mood. "Get over it Laura! So, things don't always go your way, and here's a bigger shock...no matter how much you stomp and pout and argue with the facts of life, no matter how strong the abyss of disenchantments are, things will still not go your way."  It's a proven fact and it's harsh to come to the realization of it all.  But Ha! what a misconception to my know- it- all and definitely more rational alter ego...things always go my way at McKinley's bakery! You see, when it comes to cake, I can have it all and there is no negative conjunctions of ands or buts in this scenario. I am going to eat the biggest slice of butter cream chocolate cake AND enjoy the best prelude of what it will do for me BUT the after effect of getting chocolate wasted will only invoke the servitude of my renowned love for life again! The rich butter cream chocolate icing blanketing the moist chocolate cake can serve to hide the disorder of our nature....sometimes, um...well today anyway!  To thine own self be true my fellow cake enthusiasts; console your craving and keep enjoying the sweet splendor things in life. Since you can't eat hope, try cake... it will always sustain you !

Thanksgiving Havoc? Not for this girl!

As I post this, I am comfortably lounging in what I refer to as my stretchy pants (um, yep so comfortable that they require placement in italic form).  I woke up this morning feeling rather carefree.  You see, because of some current altering events in my personal life, I was able to make the choice to make this Thanksgiving stress free.  I ordered the turkey dinner with all the trimmings this year.  I apologize for the fact that I used everything that is disposable for the sake of an entire tree forest. But nonetheless, I am today grinning from ear to ear as I reminisce on the fact that last year this time, I was secretly obsessing over wanting to be Martha Stewart's apprentice. I didn't get that expensive turkey baster or  even a shoddy one for that matter.  What to do with the cranberry sauce?  Who cares!  I have failed spectacularly in my domestic capacities and it feels exceptionally wonderful!  On the other hand, however, I did take the time to pay tribute to the blessings in my life. I am completely smittened when I think about it.  And on an oddly ravishing note, I must also thankfully behold the quirky benedictions that make me who I am.  I still don't feel insecure about the compulsory arguments I feel I need to have with myself.  I still feel that the fact that my insanely clumsiness has not failed me to come to a complete fall as of this date but that fact that I secretly rehearse that tragic recovery keeps my persona open to not being afraid of falling.  I keep saying I won't wear those shoes again; call me insatiably stubborn! I am continually banking on the fact that my OCD has successfully paroled into something productive and the fact that once again this year, my being has not yet morphed into a sugar comatose.  For today I have taken that premature obituary and have shredded it into itsy bitsy pieces!  I fit right into this whimsical and fun life no matter what it places before me. So, now that my stretchy pants have conformed to me, I think room has been made for a warm piece of Apple pie.  A Happy Happy Thanksgiving to you all my fellow Cake Enthusiasts!  And remember....when life hands you lemons, make lemon pie!  

You Darn Right...I like cake!

I like cake, no mistake, but baby if you insist, I'll cut out the cake, just for your sake!  Ummm...I think not! Baby, C'mon and knock me a kiss.  I like pie, I hope to die, just get a load of this when you get high, doggone the pie! No matter what life hands you, sometimes things get better when you take the time to indulge in the sweet things it has to offer...and YES, I am totally referring to cake.  I know it's been far too long that I have posted anything.  By all means, please discard any sneers. But you see, I have been put through some painstaking tribulations that have exploded rapidly out of control and with that control harbored my love for cake venturing.  I think I'm making some progress and am ready to get back into the wonderful and exciting world of cake again.  I made the mistake of letting life's mishaps get in the way of indulging in my daily sinful intakes.  Who does that?  Don't let anything ever take you away from what you love.  After all, cake, pie, chocolate and those darn intoxicating white powdered donuts were created on the eighth day to make life sweeter.  I want cake and I want it all...who's with me?