Disparity: "I'm A Gettin' Chocolate Wasted!"

Despite the fact that on this day, I had been feeling somewhat discouraged in both my personal and work life, I made the decision to venture out for cake as a wholly reprieve to yank me from that "oh woe is me" mood. "Get over it Laura! So, things don't always go your way, and here's a bigger shock...no matter how much you stomp and pout and argue with the facts of life, no matter how strong the abyss of disenchantments are, things will still not go your way."  It's a proven fact and it's harsh to come to the realization of it all.  But Ha! what a misconception to my know- it- all and definitely more rational alter ego...things always go my way at McKinley's bakery! You see, when it comes to cake, I can have it all and there is no negative conjunctions of ands or buts in this scenario. I am going to eat the biggest slice of butter cream chocolate cake AND enjoy the best prelude of what it will do for me BUT the after effect of getting chocolate wasted will only invoke the servitude of my renowned love for life again! The rich butter cream chocolate icing blanketing the moist chocolate cake can serve to hide the disorder of our nature....sometimes, um...well today anyway!  To thine own self be true my fellow cake enthusiasts; console your craving and keep enjoying the sweet splendor things in life. Since you can't eat hope, try cake... it will always sustain you !

Thanksgiving Havoc? Not for this girl!

As I post this, I am comfortably lounging in what I refer to as my stretchy pants (um, yep so comfortable that they require placement in italic form).  I woke up this morning feeling rather carefree.  You see, because of some current altering events in my personal life, I was able to make the choice to make this Thanksgiving stress free.  I ordered the turkey dinner with all the trimmings this year.  I apologize for the fact that I used everything that is disposable for the sake of an entire tree forest. But nonetheless, I am today grinning from ear to ear as I reminisce on the fact that last year this time, I was secretly obsessing over wanting to be Martha Stewart's apprentice. I didn't get that expensive turkey baster or  even a shoddy one for that matter.  What to do with the cranberry sauce?  Who cares!  I have failed spectacularly in my domestic capacities and it feels exceptionally wonderful!  On the other hand, however, I did take the time to pay tribute to the blessings in my life. I am completely smittened when I think about it.  And on an oddly ravishing note, I must also thankfully behold the quirky benedictions that make me who I am.  I still don't feel insecure about the compulsory arguments I feel I need to have with myself.  I still feel that the fact that my insanely clumsiness has not failed me to come to a complete fall as of this date but that fact that I secretly rehearse that tragic recovery keeps my persona open to not being afraid of falling.  I keep saying I won't wear those shoes again; call me insatiably stubborn! I am continually banking on the fact that my OCD has successfully paroled into something productive and the fact that once again this year, my being has not yet morphed into a sugar comatose.  For today I have taken that premature obituary and have shredded it into itsy bitsy pieces!  I fit right into this whimsical and fun life no matter what it places before me. So, now that my stretchy pants have conformed to me, I think room has been made for a warm piece of Apple pie.  A Happy Happy Thanksgiving to you all my fellow Cake Enthusiasts!  And remember....when life hands you lemons, make lemon pie!  

You Darn Right...I like cake!

I like cake, no mistake, but baby if you insist, I'll cut out the cake, just for your sake!  Ummm...I think not! Baby, C'mon and knock me a kiss.  I like pie, I hope to die, just get a load of this when you get high, doggone the pie! No matter what life hands you, sometimes things get better when you take the time to indulge in the sweet things it has to offer...and YES, I am totally referring to cake.  I know it's been far too long that I have posted anything.  By all means, please discard any sneers. But you see, I have been put through some painstaking tribulations that have exploded rapidly out of control and with that control harbored my love for cake venturing.  I think I'm making some progress and am ready to get back into the wonderful and exciting world of cake again.  I made the mistake of letting life's mishaps get in the way of indulging in my daily sinful intakes.  Who does that?  Don't let anything ever take you away from what you love.  After all, cake, pie, chocolate and those darn intoxicating white powdered donuts were created on the eighth day to make life sweeter.  I want cake and I want it all...who's with me?  

Despicable Me!

It's been a while I know but you see, I have a confession to make...I haven't ventured out for anything enticing worth blogging about.  Lately, the defeat of life's daunting activities itself have kept me from enjoying the things I look forward to doing, i.e...cake hunting! At times, I've gone through my day, whether it’s at work or at home and I vicariosly convince myself that today will be the day I venture out. With my list in hand of places to visit, despicably so, I'm suddenly dragging my senses to the cafeteria.  Now mind you, I must also confess in an odd and very pertubed sort of way, that I find myself excitedly making a push to the desserts dome. And so undescribably, I take only moments to decide which cake to get.  So who cares if I pick Tuesday's cake and today is Thursday! So who cares if the cake is dry, who cares if it has raisins, who cares if it's so tasteless that I eat only the icing, and who cares if it's pre-packaged and delivered by some third party vendor! Obviously, in my out-of-mind rut...I don't! I have succumbed to just that!  I need to get out of this schtick.

So just as I stooped to the lowest level...day old carrot cake, yep, from the cafeteria again, my mood had been suddenly lifted. A rich and succulent chocolate brownie cupcake from Central Market made its way to me by way of a wonderful friend.  The picture alone describes the thousand delicious words I would normally get carried away with. One bite and I felt like I was rehabilitated. This is possibly just the diversion I needed. It allows for the possibility that I might just be that girl again. I don’t know, on some Tuesday in August at some unspecified point in the history of the world, I will be heading out again, crossing off my list of tasty venues. I want to get back on track and eat REAL cake. Enough of the sadly staged sattire, forget desperate times calling for desperate measures...forget cafeteria cake! In lieu of the real thing, I'll opt for the packaged white-powdered donuts from the gift shop as a plan for my grand scheme instead!

Sweet Vacation

On Florida’s north panhandle, or better known as the “forgotten coast", exists a quaint dining café known as That Place Off 98 located in historic Apalachicola…dare you say that three times without snickering about the fact you might have said something else. Besides the fun-to-say name, this place serves up the best Key Lime Pie that side of the Gulf coast.  Naturally, it tastes like they used fresh key limes. I would expect nothing less in the Sunshine state. Beautifully embodied into the sweet and grainy graham cracker crust, was all the goodness of the perfect combination of tart and sweet custard where itzy bitzy flecks of small green zest might be detected here and there if you had microscopic vision. This treat made the fervent, scorching heat dissipate for some moments at a time. After lunch, we strolled down to Apalachicola Chocolate Company, where beautifully adorned truffles laid in all its glory behind some old glassed domes. On one end of this new found heaven, was the Italian gelato. After sampling the lemon flavor, I opted for a full size. The owner left to get more cups down the street. He’d only been perfecting his homemade gelato for the past three years and on this day, obviously the perfection ceased: He ran out of cups! Owner and chocolate master maker, George Stritikus, both charming and an avid story teller, proceeded to tell me about the commencement of this wonderful journey. I listened in awe as I’d take a bite of my lemon gelato and in between sample a few truffles as he insisted and had to prove he uses only fine chocolate. And undeniably so, I agreed…no catch-penny chocolate here! The Hazelnut Aporn and the Grand Mariner truffles were nothing less than high class. My peripheral vision caught sight of the Pecan Bourban and the Kahlua Cacao but my thirsty palate yearned for another bite of the refreshing gelato. He continued his story about hiring a group of samplers in an effort to perfect his chocolate recipes. Should they mention the chocolate was perfect, he'd seek out new samplers!  Where was I ten years ago? I'd of made the perfect sampler, "Eewww, George, this is awful, please start all over and bring me another!" George was a kind man, not only because he allowed me to have my fill of samples but because his love for chocolate reflected everything he put into his recipes. He gave me his recipe for gelato: water, milk, and fresh fruit. Seemed much too simple to believe, even for me. There are a few missing ingredients that cannot be imitated nor duplicated. I insist he makes it with a lot of passion and a pinch of love.  Even in the "forgotten coast", there are a splendid number of things that will always be remembered! 

Senseless Sensation

Lately, gluttony and lack of self control seem to compromise my usual good sense as evidenced of course by my recent incidental golf cart fiasco. The result of some futile greens terrain ride…a torn ligament to the groin, beautiful hues of purple and brown bruises, the unbearable use of those gawd awful crutches, the halt of bearing cute summer heels and then that slightly awkward limp followed thereafter. Minus the pain, the lack of supermom duties, the act of kindness imposed by strangers, the ‘free cookies for your booboo’ at a restaurant, the unwarranted offers to clean your house, the unsolicited frowns by strangers as they wonder what happened, and the best part…the guilt that indulges one so much that he feels the need to feed me a strawberry shortcake sundae every other night, well, isn’t so bad after all! In due time, everything heals. Until then, I decided to take the pity in strife and why not act upon another senseless act. A temporary clogged artery? Indulge in something deep fried? Eh, what did I have to lose?

So, the latest episode of senseless decisions occurred when I made my weekly venture to Yucatan Taco Stand. Having made it through nearly their whole dessert menu, the only thing left to try was the Deep Fried Cheesecake.

This fabulous gastrointestinal atrocity was served warm, the mushy cheesecake filling wrapped inside a flaky crust generously immersed in cinnamon sugar was just what I needed to make me feel better. Served upright side to side and adorned with a flowered mound of whipped topping then drizzled with alternating chocolate syrup in lattice form, made for a very delightful presentation.

I’ve heard deep fry batter clogs the memory; must be some merit to that…it was so good and enthralling that I had almost forgotten to swallow! So, go ahead and get lost in some crassly act every now and then; it can be a really good thing! 

Rhapsody on Fire

Creme Brulee has always been a dessert that I swoon over but the savoire faire of indulging in White Chocolate Creme Brulee makes me swoon beyond belief.  Perhaps it's the anticipation of cracking through the sugar-glazed crust or perhaps it's the bundle of alluring richness that seems to coexist so perfectly with the creamy, smooth custard engaged with white chocolate just beneath. Exasperatingly so, could it be the variety of berries that embodied this perfect and well behaved dessert?  Eating Creme Brulee is so seductively enchanting; there is nothing more simplistic that can tantalize your senses and taste buds.  The French call it burnt creme, I call it rhapsody on fire! Now, I don't want to fall into the black hole of romanticizing food but I must...where I would ramble on and on about how this delightful dessert makes me daydream about being a Parisian woman, sitting outside of a cozy bistro, discussing the perfect pairing of food and fine wine while my perfectly silk scarf tangles into my perfectly fitted suit as my perfectly manicured hands unravel it just so and in the midst of this, I suddenly get the urge for a perfectly slim cigarette as I inhale and release a perfectly lined puff...aagh...cough, cough!  Ok, let's strike the cigarette scene.  So, nonetheless, I got a bit carried away but this fancy treat is the superiority of all custards; it's svelte and chic! Now back to reality.. Excusez-moi as I repose my messy hair that, if I were French, would be the next sought after do. As much as I like to make believe I'm a ravishing french woman, it's nice to know that I can get carried and swooned away just miles away at Yucatan Taco Stand. Au revoir cake enthusiasts, until we meet again.

Pucker Up Baby!

When I think of lemons, oodles of things come to mind…a taste of Summer, freshly-squeezed lemonade immersed in reams of pulp, lemon pound cake, a homemade lemon spritz to rejuvenate those dithery winter hair strands, a bag of lemon drops you can savor on for hours and then of course, those irresistibly zesty lemon bars! I had been craving them for weeks and finally found some reputable ones at Carshon’s Deli. As I’m about to describe them, the thought alone makes my mouth water, my eyes bulge and my lips pucker…simultaneously and kinda, sorta like in kissey face stance…um okay, well, not really! Aside from the animated facial expressions they provoke, the appeal of lemon bars is easy to understand… really. When well made, the buttery, crisp yet crumbly shortbread crust and the intensely tart lemon-curd filling are everything beyond enchanting. Enamored and coated with snowy white powdered sugar perfectly adds to the pleasant combination of tart, sweet and tangy; my mouth was happy and my tongue…delirious! So addictive are these citrusy cuties that I indulged in several at one time. When life hands you lemons, ummmm, well, let someone else make lemon bars and sit back and enjoy what is tart and swanky. So, pucker up baby…LIFE is zestfully delicious!

Oh, That Warm and Fuzzy Feelin'

You don't have to wait for those beautiful earthy colors to seap through to make you believe you're in Autumn bliss once you've had Pecan Pie cake from Chadra Mezza Grill.  The layers of vanilla, brown sugar and everything that mimics pecan pie brought a warm yet chilled delight to my every being.  Surprisingly though, this audicious dessert was infused with something carousing, something with a bit of hoopla and giddiness...something along the line of RUM!  Now, by any means do I consider myself a 'light-weight' if you will, but after several invigorating bites, I was feeling kinda fuddled, a bit boozy, maybe a wee pie-eyed, pixilated and overall, just feelin' kinda Scottish.  Had I eaten the entire slice, I'd have transpired into a half-seas-over sailor! The wince of liquor permeated into the filling and the butter-scotch tasting topping transpired my dipso senses.  But really, come to think of it, this cake will not give you an instant admission to an AA meeting; my mellow-after-state could be partially blamed for the couple of Kahlua cupcakes enjoyed only hours prior.  Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink slice!

Old Fashionedly Sweet

I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind. Not sophisticated; I'm the sweet and simple kind just like old-fashioned Banana pudding should be! City Pig BBQ in Fort Worth, Texas guarantees their pudding to taste just like momma's!  Well, ladies and gents, let me say...momma would be proud!  The sanctity here is that it is old-fashioned at its best.  Forget the hoity toity type custard that uses those fancy Lady Finger biscuits in place of wafers; why, frankly that's gawd-awfully appalling and just plain rubbish! Ah...and please dissect the ones made out of that instant pudding box...ugh! This banana pudding was the real deal with a dollop of southern charm.  The luscious custard mingling with banana slices infused with vanilla, sweet milk and mushy wafers underneath a crown of fluffy-browned meringue took me back to visions of a Southern belle sitting beneath a fragrant Magnolia tree, fanning herself precociously pretending to faint ever so lightly until some gentleman aided in keeping her glucose level steady by offering her a sweet treat.  "Why  yessir", I would I mean, she would say.  "I do believe another helping of that pudding will suit me just fine."  The tease of a small serving left me yearning for a few more bites.  Lesson learned. I am reminded that next time I shall act helpless and confused when it's to my advantage; never let them know how clever and capable I really am...and then I shall get that good ole fashioned fix!